Lock 'em down.
I stop the fights, not you.
That's two strikes for you, Dubov. One more, you know where you're goin'.
- When I get out of here... - If you get out of here...
I'm gonna have you fired.
Lars, it's me.
Believe it.
Someone...
They took... switched my... wh...
F... Some fucking...
But it's cool. We're gonna deal with it.
Oh, yes, we're gonna deal with it.
- What's this about? - Dr. Walsh.
I was just, uh, enjoying some of your greatest hits here.
Oh-Oh, I hope you don't mind. I-I, uh, I partook...
of your groovy, uh... your groovy painkillers.
You know, this is fabulous work. This is... This is... Oh, bravo.
Bra-fucking-vo.
Oh, God. This is excellent. Bravo.
- Bravo. - What do you want?
Take one goddamn guess.
I wish they'd play some of those salmon spawning scenes again. I found them intensely erotic.
Fuckin' nature channel.
One more waterfall, I'm gonna foam at the mouth.
It's like they're begging us to riot.
Excuse me.
Not feeling very coordinated lately, are you?
Look, bro, you gotta help me.
I am so fried.
If the psychos in here find out I'm misfiring, we're both gonna be dead meat.
Shock treatment? What's the matter with you?
Did they operate?
I was in a coma. Jesus, you're still so fuckin' paranoid.
Aren't they giving you your medication in here?
What was my medication?
Pollux, I hand-fed you those pills for years.
Vivex. I haven't forgotten that.
It's just everything else. It's...
senses, my reflexes, my memory.
It's like a tab of bad Quantrex.
I don't even know why that fucking Yeti jumped me yesterday.
Dubov?
You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister the night he was sent here.
I guess that explains why he's so upset.
Wow.
We're gonna blow up LA, bro. Ain't it cool?
Oh, right. Rub my nose in it, why don't you?
$10 million design, and now those militia nut jobs get to keep their cash.
It's so fucking unfair.
That bomb you built does deserve an audience.
It's a work of art.
It belongs in the Louvre.
Yes, it does. Oh, well.
I guess the LA Convention Center will have to do.
- What? - Thank you.
For what?
You are so fucking pathetic.
You got a visitor.
Ooh-wee, you good-lookin'. You're hot!
It's like looking in a mirror, only not.
- Troy? - Now that is between us, okay?
- But you were... - In a coma?
Nothing like having your face cut off to disturb your sleep. Read the newspaper lately?
- You killed them? - Well, beats paying the bill, huh?
Come on. I mean, uh, if a face-lift costs five grand...
See anything you like?
Tito.
I torched all the evidence that proves you're you, okay?
So, wow, looks like you're gonna be in here for the next hundred years!
Now, I have got to go.
I've got a government job to abuse and a lonely wife to fuck.
Oh, did I say that? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't say that.
Make love to.
Oh, God, I miss that face.
Die!
- Sorry, Agent Archer. - No, don't you worry about it, Mr. Walton.
Clearly he's, uh, had a traumatic childhood...
and, uh, thank you.
What's givin' you the will to live is lookin' for revenge
Look at this place. I'm in hell.
I may never get a hard-on again.
Don't lose your head
Oh, yes.
There we go.
Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.
Come on. Give me a break.
Every house in this block looks the same. Then I spotted you.
Eve.
My one and only Eve.
So how was your vital assignment?
Which one was that?
How should I know, Sean?
Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, yes. The, um... the out of body experience.
Yes. That one.
- Where you goin'? - To the hospital.
- No. No. What's the matter? - Sean, come on.
- Oh, what? - Quit teasing me. Stop it. I'm still really hurt, okay?
- There are leftovers in the fridge. - No, no.
I want to stay hungry for you, my peach.
- Give me that tongue. - Sean, come on.
- What are you doing? What are you doing? - What does Evie want?
Eve, I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
"Date night fizzled again.
We haven't made love in two months."
What a loser.
Come here, sister
- Papa's in the swing - Got your E-mail, Karl.
- The poem you sent me was pretty kinky. - He ain't too hip
About that new-breed babe
- The plot thickens. - He ain't no drag
- Papa's got a brand-new bag - Hang on a second.
- Come here, Mama - I'll have to call you back.
- And dig this crazy scene - You're not respecting my boundaries.
- I'm coming in, Janie. - He's not too fancy - Janie?
- But this line is pretty clean - I don't think you heard me, Jamie.
- He ain't no drag - You got something that I crave.
Papa's got a brand-new bag
He's doin' the jerk He's doin’ the fly
- Don't play him cheap 'cause you know he ain't shy - Clarissa left those here.
- Well, I won't tell Mom if you don't. - He's doin’ the Monkey
- The Mashed Potato, Jump-back Jack - When did you start smoking?
- See you later, alligator - You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here.
- Papa's in the swing - Papa's got a brand-new bag. Ow!
He ain't too hip now
- But I can dig that new breed - I can do the j... do the s...
He's doin’ the twist just like this
Bye, bro. Drop me a line sometime.
Gonna be kind of lonely with Pollux gone, huh?
Po... Pollux what?
That big-shit cop, Archer, cut him a deal for turnin' state's evidence.
Your brother's been released.
I'm Sean Archer. There is a bomb at the LA Convention Center.
I'm Sean Archer and... Ow!
Tiramisu, tiramisu
- Sir, we just wanted you to know... - We're all really sorry about Tito.
Oh, hey, shit happens, you know?
So is our star witness talking?
Yeah. About what kind of mustard he likes on his tongue sandwiches.
If that bomb is out there, we're almost out of time.
Archer!
You made the deal with Pollux Troy. That isn't like you.
Well, when all else fails, fresh tactics.
Fresh? Well, let me tell you my fresh tactic.
From now on everything to do with this case goes through me, understood?
Good. Thanks.
You're supposed to be snitching and making me look good.
- Look good? - Mm-hmm.
Seeing that face on you makes me afraid my tiramisu might come back up.
Well, think about me. This nose. This hair. This ridiculous chin.
Brother, we're going straight.
Oh, my goodness. Did you exchange brains as well?
The first thing I need you to confess to is the location of the bomb.
What about our $10 million?
What about when I become an American hero for defusing the bomb? What's that worth?
Know that. Thank you. Next question.
- You're not the only one in the family with brains. - No.
- Although now I am the only one with the looks. - Touché.
This is an emergency evacuation.
Let's go. Police. Go! Go!
- Any ideas? - Yeah, run.
Sir, it's protected by a tamper switch, and it'll take us hours to bypass.
- Evacuate your team, Captain. - No, but, sir, we can't... we can't disarm.
Leave.
Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah
Ha-Ha. Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, baby. Oh...
That was the scene at the LA Convention Center...
where an FBI agent became a city savior.
Sean Archer disarmed a massive bomb just one second before it was set to blow.
The apparent targets were three Supreme Court justices scheduled to speak here today...
and anyone unlucky enough to be within a mile of the scene.
We asked Agent Archer if the FBI had any leads on who planted the device.
Well, that is, uh, classified information.
But if he... If he's listening, I wouldn't mind giving him a message:
Interception. Now our side's got the ball. Sorry.
Wanda? Everybody.
Hey, look, I... I wanna thank you for, uh...
enduring all these years that I was an insufferable bore.
Sir, did you just have a surgical procedure?
- What do you mean? - Well, was the stick...
successfully removed from your ass?
Sir. The White House on one.
It's the president. Oh, and your wife on line two.
- Well, you tell the president to hold. - Okay.
My God! Sean, you scared the hell out of me.
- It's date night. - Oh, my God.
Oh, congratulations.
Oh, big deal.
Okay, I said, uh, "Mr. President...
I want the authority...
and I want the funds and the personnel...
to take over the whole gamut of global terrorism," right?
And he said, "The next name on my calling list is Lazarro...
and I'm telling him that Sean Archer writes his own ticket," okay?
What's the matter?
I... I don't know, Sean. You just...
You just seem so different. I mean, what is th... all this about?
What... This intimate candlelight dinner? Huh?
And I'm supposed to forget all the promises 'cause you're going back into the fray?
If the top cop in this country can't come home...
every night to his wife, then the hell with the country.
Because the only place I'm going is upstairs with you.
Exercise. One hour.
How can I get out of here?
You can't.
How can I get these boots off?
They only take 'em off in the clinic.
Right before they fry your skull.
Hey.
- I'm out of cigarettes. - Get back in line, Troy.
I said I'm out of cigarettes.
Kick his ass!
Hey, what the hell! That's not right!
I need a light! I need a light!
- Anybody got a light? - All right!
Anybody got a light? Got a light?
You better bring the bastard down before he chokes himself to death.
Well, happy day. It's Castor Troy.
Wait. H-Hold it, hold it. Can I, uh... Can I have a light?
You know, those things'll kill you.
Get his boots, Walton.
Dubov, I didn't touch your wife.
And I didn't touch your sister.
But I know your wife loves you, is waiting for you.
So let's get out of here.
You're more brain-dead than Dubov.
- Out. - Out.
- Get him! - Grab his arms!
Look out!
Shots have been fired. We have men down in C-4.
- I got 'em. - Throw 'em down!
Move!
Get down!
Dubov! No!
Get out.
Dubov!
Now, give me your hand.
Come on.
You can do it.
No!
No. No.
No!
Sean! Wait!
- What are you doing? - Uh, I'm sorry.
- Have a nice day. - Have a nice day?
What is with you? Is this your way of just not dealing with this morning?
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
Sean! Sean!
I know it's hard for you, but it's hard for me too, and we still have to go.
Happy birthday, Mikey.
He took our baby, Sean. He took our little boy.
You turned your beeper off.
Yes, well... my son's birthday.
Well, uh, here's some poetic justice, sir.
- Castor Troy is dead. - He got killed trying to escape from Erewhon.
Where's his body? I-I wanna see his body.
- It hasn't been recovered yet. - It hasn't been recovered yet?
Get the LAPD on this!
Even if he is alive, Castor isn't stupid enough to come back to the city.
You must... You must trust me. He's already here.
County General. How may I direct your call?
Dr. Archer, please. It's an emergency.
- May I say who's calling? - Her husband.
Dr. Archer, call on line three.
I know this sounds crazy, but... Shit!
- Sean? - Eve, listen carefully.
The man you think is your husband isn't.
- Who is this? - Please, just listen.
Take Jamie. Go to your mother's. Don't tell him where you're going. Just go.
Uh, whoever you are, don't call again.
- Operations. - I need Victor Lazarro immediately.
- Regarding? - I have information about Castor Troy.
I'll transfer you, sir.
Sean Archer here. Who's calling?
Well, if you're Sean Archer, I guess I'm Castor Troy.
Ah, yes.
This escaped convict is considered extremely dangerous.
If you have any information concerning the whereabouts of Castor Troy...
You goddamn right. Yeah!
This shit's so good, it's gonna make your dick hard.
Huh? Cheryl? Cheryl's a liar.
Dietrich.
So you're still selling hops and drugs to Cheryl and Phil Roy.
Castor fucking Troy!
Aw, man. You scared me, man!
All right. All right.
You know, I never should've sold you those bombs. It's my curse. I can't say no to a friend.
- You can't say no to money. - Yeah, that's my other curse.
- You drug dealer. - What's the matter?
- What? - You look like you just fucked your mother. Come on.
Let's go relax, huh?
Hey!
- Hey, Castor. - Oh, Castor Troy!
I don't believe this. Castor Troy!
What are you doing?
Wanna hit?
Hey, baby. Remember me? I'm your favorite peach.
Oh, I thought I was your favorite.
- You make me crazy - Look at this guy.
You know, you look pretty good for a dead guy.
Hey!
- Mescal. - Two? - Yeah.
So what do you wanna do?
You wanna get out of the country?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna get Sean Archer.
With your help.
Okay.
Welcome home, baby.
How we supposed to do that?
He's vulnerable at home.
No. I mean, this is Sean Archer we're talkin' about.
- This isn't just some Boy Scout. - Fitch.
No. Besides, his house is probably alarmed up the wazoo.
The code is 10-19-86.
That's his dead son's birthday.
Don't it just break your heart?
- That's brilliant. - That's sick.
How is it that you know so much about Sean Archer?
Uh... I, uh...
sleep with his wife.
Well.
This is gra... This is great.
So, once we kidnap supercop, then what?
Tiny...
surgery.
I'd like to take his... his face...
off.
Yes.
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I have to use the little boy's wee-wee room.
Cas.
You wanna take his face...
Yes. His face off.
Eyes.
Nose. Skin.
It's coming off.
The face...
off.
No more drugs for that man.
I'm not me.
I'm me.
Not me. Me.
Castor Archer.
I thought you were dead.
I'm not dead. I'm me.
No, no, no. Look. What I... What I'm trying to tell you, brother,
Pollux, is once we get the full protection and resources...
of the government to help us get rid of our rivals, right?
Then we'll be set.
Then maybe, just maybe, I'll get my frickin' face back.
Then I'll just have one jag-off to take care of.
- Hey, where ya goin'? Where ya goin'? - Karl, stop it.
- Maybe two. Hold on. - Karl, stop it!
- Calm down, would ya? Calm down. - Karl!
Karl, my dad's home! Let go!
- Happy hunting. I'll catch ya later. - Stop it!
Yeah, like Mr. Fuckin' Invisible gives a shit about you anyway. So fuckin' hold still.
Calm down!
- Okay, say you're sorry. - I'm sorry.
- I didn't hear it. - I'm sorry!
- Mean it. - I'm so sorry!
Dress up like Halloween and ghouls will try to get in your pants.
Typical, Dad. Some guy tries to rape me, and I'm to blame?
This isn't you.
Now you haven't been the same since Mike died.
Hiding behind someone else's face.
Hoping you wouldn't feel the pain.
While we're talking, do you have protection?
What? You mean like condoms?
Protection.
Next time, let Karl take his pants down.
Slip this in his thigh, twist it so the wound won't close.
Now go on. Get outta here.
I am the king.
Eve.
Jesus, Cas! It's me!
It's me.
Cas. Shh.
Come on. It's me. Jesus.
Come on.
- Don't you wanna talk? - The only talk I ever heard from you is...
"Suck my tongue," "I love your ass," and "See ya."
Take the filthy shit off, put this on and get outta here.
- No, I'm not goin' anywhere. - Oh, really?
What do you... What do you expect me, after all this time...
Just to... Just to jump on you?
- That's not what I... - Is that what you expect?
- That's not what I meant. - What did you mean?
- I meant... - Huh? Is this what you meant?
That? That? How about this? Is that good? Huh?
- Sean Archer. - Bro.
Well, I figured he might drop in on some of our old friends.
And if my eyes don't deceive, I think this fellow's beginning to enjoy being you.
Good.
Look, look, look. Okay. L-Look, Sasha.
What I meant is, uh, that I'm not going anywhere...
until your brother helps me, uh, first.
Cas. If the FBI finds out that you were here...
I'll lose my son.
Please, Cas, you just gotta go.
I've said and done some things that have made your life harder.
- I know. - How would you?
When you left, you never looked back.
I... I just know.
Look, Sasha, I'm not the same person you remember.
And for what it's worth, I'm sorry.
- They're nice-looking clothes. - Yeah, of course. They're yours.
Look, I know, I...
just like 'em.
That's a nice-lookin' kid too.
Yeah. Of course.
He's yours too.
- How old is he? - Five.
Nobody knows he's yours. I was...
scared someone would try to hurt him just to hurt you.
Adam. Adam.
Don't want you playing with those things. They are very, very dangerous.
Okay? Now come on, sweetie.
I want you to meet your father.
Look at him. It's okay. Say hi.
Hi.
Michael.
- Michael. Michael? - Cas.
- Cas. Cas, you're scaring him. - Michael?
Let him go.
What is the matter with you?
Get down!
Okay, Red Team! Red Team, break off!
How'd you get to be so brave? How'd you get to be so brave?
- Come out now with your hands up! - Put these on.
Okay. That's a good idea, baby. Listen to your music.
- Come on. - Come out now!
Somewhere
- Go! Go! Go! - We have a warrant for your arrest!
Cops.
I hate cops.
Come on, kid.
- Move! Move! - Go left, left! First door to the right!